I want to write something.
I want my voice to be heard.
No I don't.
It's been a really long time since I wrote anything. I write all day now. Opinions about insurance, comments about articles. But nothing, it's all nothing. Chips of stone on the Grand Canyon's floor. I have never felt happier than I have in law school, but I am more alone than ever. I'm scared about graduating in a few months; I don't know what I'll do.
You want emotion? Too bad, all I have is self-pity.
Should I write about my life? You'd be bored.
Should I write about love? I don't know anything.
Should I write about the law? Don't make me laugh.
What else is there?
What am I feeling? The light as it flickers and sputters before going out. The slurp at the end of a drink.
I want to be significant, I am insignificant. I am 31 years old. That is impossible. I always figured that I'd be dead by this point, but I keep going on. Going on to what? Lawyering? I want the trappings of lawyering, I want to represent someone, I want to win. What else is there?
I bought the paper light at Ikea in Portland after I got back from Peace Corps. It was the only thing I really wanted. A floor lamp, 3 fluorescent bulbs inside a wrinkled paper shade, throwing off a pale yellow light. About four foot tall, square-collumn shaped, metal base, six foot cord, foot pedal switch. It is the thing I own that I am most fond of. I have this light going every day. What does that mean?
I want to write more.
I have no stamina for writing.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Only 1 Month Left!
Wow, the time is really getting away from me now. I've got so much work top do and no more time for it. Every day is filled by something that's got to get done TODAY (yet facebook still seems to take up all my time, that's the devil's website). So I'm closing out my grant, writing my resume, looking for jobs, writing my DOS (Description of Service) and trying to sort out what's coming back with me and what's staying in the closet for the landlords to discover after I'm gone (suckers!).
Have I told you about our plans for coming home? We're jumping on the train from Kyiv north to Moscow. Spend a few days there and then the adventure begins! East from Moscow on the Trans-Mongolian Railway! Should be the trip of a lifetime. We aren't taking as long to do it as I'd like becasue my friends have some committments back home but the plan is thus: from Moscow we go to Yekaterinburg, the first city in Russian Asia. That should take us about two or three days and we'll spend at least a day in the city before jumping on the next train all the way to Lake Baikal, one of the most beautiful places in the world. It should take us three days to get there, and we hope to spend two or three days camping by the shores of this amazing lake (the fish there are supposed to be amazing). From there we turn south to the capital of Mongolia, Ulaan Bataar. In Mongolia we've made contact with some of our PCV colleagues and will be hopefully staying with them for around three or four days, living in a tent on the stepe, awesome. And then it's on to China. We'll go to Beijing and fly home when the money runs out. Great Wall, horrible pollution and a billion people here we come!
Have I told you about our plans for coming home? We're jumping on the train from Kyiv north to Moscow. Spend a few days there and then the adventure begins! East from Moscow on the Trans-Mongolian Railway! Should be the trip of a lifetime. We aren't taking as long to do it as I'd like becasue my friends have some committments back home but the plan is thus: from Moscow we go to Yekaterinburg, the first city in Russian Asia. That should take us about two or three days and we'll spend at least a day in the city before jumping on the next train all the way to Lake Baikal, one of the most beautiful places in the world. It should take us three days to get there, and we hope to spend two or three days camping by the shores of this amazing lake (the fish there are supposed to be amazing). From there we turn south to the capital of Mongolia, Ulaan Bataar. In Mongolia we've made contact with some of our PCV colleagues and will be hopefully staying with them for around three or four days, living in a tent on the stepe, awesome. And then it's on to China. We'll go to Beijing and fly home when the money runs out. Great Wall, horrible pollution and a billion people here we come!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Dog Days
To continue Robert's recent run of amazing luck: two days ago I was walking down the street in a neighboring town. On my way to pick up some buttons I had had printed for local Anti-AIDS programs. Two little yipping and yapping doggies run up behind me. I, intrepid and fearless, turn and stare them down. "Pansies," I think to myself. Turn around and continue on my merry way. Out of the doorway in front of me comes the leader of the pack, unhappy with my treatment of his fellows. Runs right up to me and takes a bite out of my leg. Bites me through my pants, socks, and long-johns. Then runs right back to his hideaway. Unbelieveable. So instead of enjoying the Mukachevo Wine Festival and then going to Budapest, I'm in Kyiv on rabies prophylaxis. Five shots on the first day, another on the third, then the seventh, continuing for a month. So that's what I'm doing. Rabies, also apparently fatal, who knew?
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